In our sessions, we begin by trying to understand the places where you get caught up in anger or withdrawal and become isolated from each other. We identify the situations that set your reactions in motion so quickly it feels like a reflex. Then we explore the thoughts and feelings underneath. I help couples to look at how they make meaning out of what's going on between them, how they have come to think about each other and also about themselves.
I know how to keep people from letting their emotions spin out of control. I help my clients to slow down the reactivity between them, and start to hear and understand each other. I support them in sharing vulnerable feelings, and we take the time together to reflect on, rather than react to, what each other has said.
For some couples, the therapy moves quickly, and for others it takes more time. Each partner’s experience growing up, along with the duration and intensity of their distress together all influence their course of therapy. Every couple goes at their own pace, and we intersperse some individual sessions as well.
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